Feedback Request on Cold Email for Specialty Healthcare Groups

Hey Clay Team, I'd love some feedback on what I'm generating for my cold email outbound (1st touchpoint)- 2 examples attached. I feel like it's TMI but I took some pointers from a Gong article https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-cold-email-still-work-when-done-rightyes-the-daily-sales-6zipe/ as guidance. My ICP is specialty healthcare groups 10+ providers and I sell patient automation solutions. Does this feel too stale, and if so, any pointers on how to get it right? I'm happy to read any resources/best practices from people you guys trust. Thanks in advance. In short, Clay has enriched the contacts for me, Claygent has reviewed their site and medical specialty, assessed the role/responsibilities based on Job title, and generated a baseline "value prop" for my company and the potential client. From there, I used an A.I. enrichment to generate the "gong-like" email.