Feedback Request on Cold Email for Specialty Healthcare Groups

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Hey Clay Team, I'd love some feedback on what I'm generating for my cold email outbound (1st touchpoint)- 2 examples attached. I feel like it's TMI but I took some pointers from a Gong article https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/does-cold-email-still-work-when-done-rightyes-the-daily-sales-6zipe/ as guidance. My ICP is specialty healthcare groups 10+ providers and I sell patient automation solutions. Does this feel too stale, and if so, any pointers on how to get it right? I'm happy to read any resources/best practices from people you guys trust. Thanks in advance. In short, Clay has enriched the contacts for me, Claygent has reviewed their site and medical specialty, assessed the role/responsibilities based on Job title, and generated a baseline "value prop" for my company and the potential client. From there, I used an A.I. enrichment to generate the "gong-like" email.

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3 comments

· Sorted by Oldest

John T.
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Also interested if anyone has experience training Claygent with their "voice" so that the outbound seems more natural to what I would send manually. Many Office Managers/Administrators are not college graduates, know their stuff but don't speak "fancy"
Ryan L.
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This is way too long. Hi Aneita, As Office Manager at Allcare, have you considered using automated recall campaigns to recover missed visits while reducing staff workload across all your practices? Patient outreach, appointment scheduling, and insurance verification, all automated. Takes 1 week to implement and we do it for you so no downtime. Worth a look? P.S. we integrate seamlessly with {{tech stack tool they use that you guys work well with which will make implementation smoother}}
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Kabeer A.
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Hey John, solid setup you’re already doing 90% right by letting Claygent tailor value props per specialty. The main tweak I’d suggest is tightening the copy: focus on one clear pain + one clear outcome instead of stacking multiple insights. Gong-style emails work best when they feel quick and personal 50–70 words tops. If you want, I can share a short version of your current email that keeps the personalization but hits faster.
🙌1

John T.
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Also interested if anyone has experience training Claygent with their "voice" so that the outbound seems more natural to what I would send manually. Many Office Managers/Administrators are not college graduates, know their stuff but don't speak "fancy"
Ryan L.
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·
This is way too long. Hi Aneita, As Office Manager at Allcare, have you considered using automated recall campaigns to recover missed visits while reducing staff workload across all your practices? Patient outreach, appointment scheduling, and insurance verification, all automated. Takes 1 week to implement and we do it for you so no downtime. Worth a look? P.S. we integrate seamlessly with {{tech stack tool they use that you guys work well with which will make implementation smoother}}
🙌1
Kabeer A.
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Hey John, solid setup you’re already doing 90% right by letting Claygent tailor value props per specialty. The main tweak I’d suggest is tightening the copy: focus on one clear pain + one clear outcome instead of stacking multiple insights. Gong-style emails work best when they feel quick and personal 50–70 words tops. If you want, I can share a short version of your current email that keeps the personalization but hits faster.
🙌1